Well, after over a year of thinking about it, clicking and re-clicking through the GoddessGuidebook website, and hearing so many women rave about Goddess Leonie’s Goddess Circle, I finally joined!

I’m a part of so many different online communities, from HerFuture and The Kind Life to Right Brain Business Premium and of course my own Wild Sisterhood, and now I’m a part of the Goddess Circle too. Clearly, I just can’t get enough of connecting with kindred spirits and gypsy souls from all over the world.

Why, then, did I avoid joining the Goddess Circle for so long? I’ll tell you. I was afraid.

Fear creates lack.

You see, when I first discovered Goddess Leonie, I was living in China and just starting to blog here at My Smiling Heart. I loved everything Goddess Leonie was about, I wanted the kind of blogging/creative/artistic success she had achieved. She was my inspiration.

But I felt that our messages were too similar, that people would think I copied her. So I avoided everything she created. I didn’t want to join the Goddess Circle because I wanted to start my own online community, and I thought that if I joined the Circle then started my community, I would look bad.

And, in the spirit of being completely honest while risking a helluva lot of judgement from others, I even started to resent Goddess Leonie. I was thinking from a place of lack and not-good-enough, I believed that people wouldn’t buy my ebook or ecourse or meditation or join my community if they could get the something better from GoddessGuidedbook. I thought that anything I created would be a cheap copy of something Goddess Leonie had already created.

This was one of the reasons I haven’t really started any new creative projects since Wild Sister Magazine. I have ideas, I have passion, but I let fear stop me.

Love creates abundance.

Now I’m realising that there’s plenty of room for everyone to create and offer beautiful, worthy, inspirational gifts to the world. And anything I create will be completely, uniquely me, because I am completely, uniquely me.

And just as I’m a part of many different online communities and buy many different ebooks and ecourses, so do a lot of women. If it calls to us, we make it work. There’s plenty of room for all our gifts. As with everything in life, there’s no better or worse, there’s no competition, there’s just different. We all have the same light inside us.

This has been a huge lesson for me. The book Spirit Junkie by Gabby Bernstein has lead me to realise all these ego perceptions and projections, and joining the Goddess Circle was my way of letting go of fear and choosing love instead.

By operating from fear I created separateness, lack, and negativity. By operating from love I create equality, abundance and light.

I’m choosing love for Goddess Leonie by supporting her magnificent creations and dreams, and I’m choosing love for myself by allowing myself to receive her wisdom, beauty and guidance.

As women, we owe it to each other to support one another, to lift each other up, not put each other down. The succes of one woman is a success for every woman, it should be celebrated, not perceived as a sign of your inferiority or lack. As the leader of a Sisterhood, I am taking responsibility for myself, forgiving my mistakes, and owning my power in the hopes that other women will do the same.

I have no idea how this post will be received. Maybe some of you will be able to relate to it, maybe some of you will be angered by it. But it’s my truth, and I’m here to share it.

To Goddess Leonie, I’m sorry I projected my fears onto you in the past. I am so grateful for this lesson, and I am so grateful to you for being courageous and passionate enough to share your light with the world with such authenticity and colour.

I look forward to seeing you in the Goddess Circle :)

Choose love,

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  • http://www.facebook.com/zazazu Karen Beth Martin

    I love this post and your honesty. It is so raw and real. And from what I’ve read of Goddess Leonie, she will readily accept you with open arms. I’ve been so tempted to also join the Goddess Circle but just… haven’t. I’m so so afraid that I won’t have the time to put into it adequately and “get my money’s worth”, although I so desperately need a tribe. You’ve given me something to think about. Big love to you and your honest heart. :)

  • http://wearestillblooming.blogspot.com/ Sheri

    “But it’s my truth and I’m here to share it” …sums it all up. Your intention is pure and honest and that is what matters most, this post/blog reflects this. Thank you, I will follow your lead and meet the day! xoxo

  • http://twitter.com/jessica_morrow Jess Morrow

    I can really relate to this, on a lot of levels. The conditioning to be jealous & to think from a scarcity-consciousness … I just … yeah, I GET it. I just renewed my Goddess Circle membership, btw … I’d been thinking of not renewing, but I decided to and I am so glad I did. SO many gorgeous souls there–glad you are there now, too.

  • Tess The Bold Life

    I don’t know of one human being who can’t relate to this! Not one. Different blog. Different person. Fear vs Love! I choose love.!!! xo

  • http://twitter.com/KateBohemian Kate Rogers

    I totally relate – so much so that when I recently discovered my perfect for me blog name I almost didn’t honor it because the word Goddess is part of it. I also recently joined her Goddess Circle and am so glad I did – though I admit to having a little trouble figuring ning out :)

    That place of lack and fear – of feeling like we’re ‘not enough’ is such a small, sad place — hurray for the both of us for stepping out of it!